Addicted

The definition of Addiction according to Dictionary.com is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.


Which leads me to my first question. 


Are all addictions bad?


Obviously certain ones like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc are very bad but what about others? 
Like the addiction to love, happiness, or a state of contentment. Are those addictions bad as well?


Am I wrong to have an internal drive that only travels in the speed of my dreams? Or is everyone else selfish for trying to hold me back?


This isn't the story of a selfish, egotistical, b-word who only cares about herself and only does the things that benefit her the most while leaving everyone else to die. This is the story about a girl who has spent a lot of time loving and caring for others and for once wants to take a risk just for herself. 


I feel like I'm just wading in a pool stuck in an inner tube staring at the sun. I know that I want to start swimming but I can't because I'm stuck. My insides are constantly screaming at me that it is time to go but 


I can't. 


I can't hurt him. 


I can't break his heart. 


I won't hurt him. 


I won't break his heart. 

I just need more time to think about this. I need to figure out a way to get through all of this. 

Good night.